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floondi's journal
You are viewing floondi's journal
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topics of conversation @ Boulevard Tavern, so I don't forget -w/ KE, our respective jobs |
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I've been feeling less sad but still unmotivated - this is what I must tell the doctor at my next appointment. Life has been filled with friendly intelligent faces but they leave no afterglow, and I return to emptiness. Restless emptiness. I have some Mountain Dew but I don't want to become dependent on caffeine and it combines strangely with Cymbalta I think. I would prefer a correspondent to a journal. I have Margaret but it's been a few days. BvdM didn't answer and I didn't feel like bringing it up IRL. For future record purpose, this was the week.5 without a phone, though I should be able to retrieve my SIM card tomorrow. Boy I hope my mom is doing alright without knowing why my phone is off! Things I "want" to do but don't want to do right now: exercise, buy bus tickets to Phil's, all of the UFC related Google tasks I have, trying to apply for jobs instead of just favoriting them.
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Recently I have had some new experiences... two nights @ 1103, the first after In My Sleep, watching AD, sleeping over, snickerdoodles, and the 2nd watching a film, cooking, going home late at night to play Wesnoth until 6. Monday night @ Koprowski's place for the 1st time. AW came to the play. Sometime before there was a fun game night with WVS JR CC AW BM TH |
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Karamazov notes Ilya: Dostoevsky would not be radical if he was just repeating the party line on theodicy. He wants us to reject certain things associated with Christianity, like the narrative of progress. Least believable part of Christianity: narrative of redemption Zosima: paradise possible for us now. Ivan "activates" paradoxes within Christianity he's not a Miltonian skandalon=tripping stone, that which confuses Ivan is the most irrationalist character. Victoria: most conflicted |
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Been reading a lot of other peoples' blogs lately. For instance: -Andrea/friends still using LJ (not many left) -http://beekmannotes.blogspot.com/ -http://followingjesusasawoman.blogs -http://serais.wordpress.com/ -http://jazzhun.tumblr.com/ -http://juliadesantis.wordpress.com/ -http://bunchoffuckinghearts.wordpress.c -http://turinhurinson.wordpress.com/ -http://nonewclothes.wordpress.com/ -http://alexandrahart.tumblr.com/ -http://seekyfind.blogspot.com/ A lot of these people don't even know I read their blogs. What benefit do I receive from taking in all of this knowledge? I ask God that the wisdom I gain through sources like this be used through me for his glory, and that if I am reading for myself only, that I might cease to do so. |
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Well! To write or to do homework or to sleep? I couldn't possibly write all that I've been thinking down now anyway. I wrote a little in that one text file from 2 years ago. So I don't forget later the sequence of events has been 11/25 wake, pack, bus, picked up, Chinese food, Precious, bed. Oh yeah and of course Mara didn't end up coming, can't imagine how things would have turned out if she had. Sleep time now? prolly... |
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So, this is me on lack of sleep... there is a calmness, a colorlessness to life. Irritability makes sensory data thinner and sharper. It is easier to examine the normal course of life, being put in a slightly different state like this. I feel little emotion now, so my normal emotions must seem strange or ridiculous to me. What have they been lately? Have felt strong sense of loss about losing my little black notebook, reminding me of all the times I've lost vital documents in the past, making me question my value for records and documents. I've purposely, meaning I did not try resisting the feeling, felt anticipation for this long weekend trip. Some of the reasons why have been muddled. The single main reason for it is wanting to know my friend better. So, I have the same very strong desire, to get to know a single other person extremely well, that I had at least since AMS. It is very addictive. And has not tended to work out for the best in the end. I've got to spend a bit more time looking at how things have progressed through the course of different relationships. What has happened with number один is really great, I think. Question: can that be got at with a different path? Speaking of the 4 people, I may as well update now and say there's a sort of stasis with #2, whose birthday party I went to the other day. I think the reason it doesn't bother me so much is that I haven't had that troublesome desire-to-possess with her really, and that I imagine her to have a long memory and so to not forget our past friendship so easily, and even maybe be able to pick it right up again when necessary in the future. So its +,-,+,? with that last one to be determined shortly. Or will it be? The whole thing with her is that for some reason when we are in a group of people I feel she changes completely, or maybe the problem is that she doesn't change. At least I'll make an acquaintance with the other girl, MBM. Should I make a list of possibilities for the fun of it? They aren't mutually exclusive at all... -I feel like I'm not the "favorite" because I'm not shown preference of any sort* -I feel that I am shown preference but not how I expect -I feel satisfactorily preference'd -We achieve some sort of trio-friendship Now I find it hard to imagine any of these being that great. And everything I'm talking about is a manifestation of the type of life in which I'm living to satisfy my own curiosity and other simple desires. The other mode of life, the Alyosha-like higher living(I might soon be tempted to call it (#4)-like)... I might be moving toward that. Here's another prediction: it will require making more distinction between my needs and my wants. Wait a second, if we do have rather similar minds, why is it that she doesn't seem to have that burning curiosity or the related seeking out of mental occupation through activities like games? Ways in which I can move toward this type of life: "discipleship", job applications, RPC community group, and... volunteering? *This is a rather silly thing to feel as a 20 year old adult, except that it seems normal in the fictional 19th century world I like to pretend I live in |
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6th floor of Kimmel. A little while before class. A wave upset the fragile liquid of my life around Saturday. I went the whole weekend without really doing any academic type tasks. Our beta group finished with a bang, all of those people and then a late night Simonova watching session. 9 days! Suddenly, anxiety, serious and physically felt. There's no preparation or rehearsal time set aside for life because life uses up 100% of our time. I feel the imminent need for a 1-on-1 conversation with her as a sort of neutralizing act(the speed with which my mental conception starts to separate from the reality is mind-blowing). Why are these ladies getting all chthonic all of a sudden? Showing my Hamlet-like weaknesses. Maybe I will have to turn toward conversations with dudes of the sort like MM, AD, AR. Yesterday was when Olivia visited... she is refreshingly free of mystery and could be described well in a few pages by a realist like Dostoyevsky. I finally obtained a non-CG version of BK at the local library, which basically consists of 2 rooms in a public housing project. |
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What do I want my priorities(order of importance for time/scheduling) to be right now? I think it's something like God But this isn't quite how it goes... |
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I've moved from the kitchen to the parlor... Greg Menillo is here as well, resting after drinking too much vodka celebrating Whitelaw's birthday. This evening was... different. I re-learned to knit, so now I have yet another possible activity to eat up my time, or that's one way of looking at it. But then came about 4 hours on the 7th floor of Kimmel. Being in fellowship for that time with A and B, and the others for part of the time, it was an experience rather unlike either large focused groups on the one hand or small group informal socializing on the other. And... I'm not sure what the conclusion to draw is, if there is one. I'm just going along with life and doing stuff, trying not to analyze overly much. There are so many aspects to my life now... I guess I could divide them into God, my health, my future living, my learning and thought life, family, and friends/people I'm seeking relationships with. But work with clubs and fellowships is its own category, maybe. I met some cool people on the highly atypical mens' retreat. I don't lack much right now regarding my personal needs, but I don't really have any continuous, deep conversations going on like with childhood best friends or last year's lunches with B. I'm not sure if I can get back to that level again with her in the future, but there are other people around too. PV for one... but living together seems to preclude purposeful meeting. This morning I read my acquaintance's theodicy and did laundry at the laundromat.
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Last 50-odd hours have included... -some intense discussions with Ashok Deshmukh. I realized I have a need to engage with people of like mind of myself in that kind of conversation. -planning out how my college career might go whether or not I do BA/MA -Landon returned -explained Agamemnon in Ilya's class... and learned that I had accidentally produced music before! -last ever Northern concert, after Navs. Felt severe loneliness, then catharsis. Went home with Bres, Vernon. Today I skipped class to go to Target in the Bronx. Listened to Heart and ran across the bridge. 3 weeks! |
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Chilling at the kitchen table before heading off to Commuter luncheon. A pretty normal Tuesday for me. The last couple days have been rather awesome: on Sunday the nice little meal with the neighbor girls, Charlie and Jared. "Hope for the Church" at 7:15, by myself since Landon's still in Florida. Helped finish off Yuengling keg with Greg and Cameron, that was a nice conversation. I'm still unsure about the correctness of drinking, it's been rather more helpful than harmful for me, I think. Yesterday I actually went to Stats for once, and finished my State intern application right before the deadline. The most random thing that happened was running into YKS at Mercato and talking for like half an hour. He's a cool guy, I hope I have the chance to get to know him better. In the evening I had to choose between Peter Singer lecture and UFC meeting, I chose the latter and it was pretty productive. ohemeffgee am I excited for Thanksgiving break! I've been pretty emotionally chill for the past few months, so I can honestly say I can't remember the last time I looked forward to something so much. Could my silly childish hopes possibly be dashed? I can't imagine how. 22 days...
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Write write write, I sure do like to write. So much possible data to record. Today is day #12 in 43 St Nicholas. Yesterday was our first house meeting, everyone sans Jared and Ryan were there Currently I'm following the blogs of Gillian, Laura Ziesel, Joseph Simmons, the Bronx house, and right now Jasmine's tumblr but I don't usually remember that one. Today I will finish Tsypkin and call OW and maybe Adrienne whose family name I don't even know. My mother will call me. It would be nice if other people called me but unlikely. There is a baby Trautmann out there somewhere, the center of a whirlwind of dynamism in the Fellowship as school starts and many more new things will be happening than I can probably keep up with. I'm going to want to be asking Alannah constantly about her new life but... School is only partially sorted out but I'll be continuing my degree for the next year at least, I think. Oh I should also get a hold of Ryan since he's not coming back for a few weeks yet. People are here, which I did not realize I thought they were mostly gone. Some vague snatches of Imogen Heap's voice and other things are coming through the door. I'm very pleased that out of all the members of the house I was placed with Landon, there could be no arrangement more appropriate. Also, I've decided that seeking one on one time with many of the others would be very sensible. What would I like to go when I grow up? Here's a current list, I had gone ages without seriously thinking about this. Not that my thoughts presently are serious, however they might be more insightful or even entertaining. List: -Homemaker -Christian literary critic -Diplomat -Manager -Tutor -Construction worker, or other kind of laborer I think that's still below the average amount of careers an American goes through. I am drawn toward the voices upstairs. Goodbye for now, newly-anthropomorphized electronic diary. |
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This is a really important time... I need to mark it with some sort of entry. Most of the drama seems over, and my spirits are lifted a bit by getting this telephone finally and reestablishing contact with 2 of my favorite people. Also, Joaquin Phoenix+Fascism. Recent events I might forget about- walking through Magnolia, Brian talking about moving back to Arizona, back on Monday the south Burien walk, my mother trying to fax me some list or something, the smoke flavored tea, finishing Poisonwood Bible though that will be in my little red book. |
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Woke up early today unlike any recent days but like the days at the beginning of the foreign stay which makes me feel nostalgic for them, sort of. Squeezed the weekend waking times short to make up for lost time. Only pleasure available is from food and video games, a modest hedonism. Difficulties, labors, works, shut down the will and let them pass over you. Suffer them passively. Unity to those far away in space and time(SW, HR) and vice-versa. Summon an army of Initiates, send them southwest, then east, hold the center just barely and reinforce to finish. Plans for the future, living space, purposeful uncertainty, irresponsibility. Need something to wait for, always. What can I scrounge up? Go to Budapest, then Vienna. Get a dentist appointment. Ask about positions, through school and church. Position, what a great possession. Knowing one's place. Cog in a machine, other such cliches. Sending out postcards? At the post-office its nearby... I was thankful for the ready advice of my RA last night. I wait for replies to my correspondence and I must be disappointed when they do not come, if I am ever disappointed. |
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Woke up early today unlike any recent days but like the days at the beginning of the foreign stay which makes me feel nostalgic for them, sort of. Squeezed the weekend waking times short to make up for lost time. Only pleasure available is from food and video games, a modest hedonism. Difficulties, labors, works, shut down the will and let them pass over you. Suffer them passively. Unity to those far away in space and time(SW, HR) and vice-versa. Summon an army of Initiates, send them southwest, then east, hold the center just barely and reinforce to finish. Plans for the future, living space, purposeful uncertainty, irresponsibility. Need something to wait for, always. What can I scrounge up? Go to Budapest, then Vienna. Get a dentist appointment. Ask about positions, through school and church. Position, what a great possession. Knowing one's place. Cog in a machine, other such cliches. Sending out postcards? At the post-office its nearby... I was thankful for the ready advice of my RA last night. I wait for replies to my correspondence and I must be disappointed when they do not come, if I am ever disappointed. |
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floondi (11:03:33 PM): hi stimpjacquelyn returned at 11:04:12 PM. floondi (11:06:36 PM): hi stimpjacquelyn (11:08:41 PM): what up? stimpjacquelyn (11:08:47 PM): sorry was brushin my teeth floondi (11:08:55 PM): returning from a fun couple of days floondi (11:09:04 PM): how were the last 2 days of school? stimpjacquelyn (11:09:35 PM): well i only went to school on thrusday and did some volunteering which is always fun. stimpjacquelyn (11:09:41 PM): but i heard friday was good too floondi (11:10:20 PM): oh ok where did you volunteer? stimpjacquelyn (11:11:04 PM): the diaper bank... it was okay. it wasnt what i was expecting though floondi (11:15:51 PM): what did you do today? stimpjacquelyn (11:16:39 PM): woke up. exchanged gifts. cleaned. went to dennys then visited grandpa. came home. ohh and i managed to clean my dog nellie today. you? floondi (11:16:58 PM): clean your dog? thats a funny expression floondi (11:17:03 PM): I was with Alannah's family stimpjacquelyn (11:19:29 PM): oh well bathed her. how was that? floondi (11:19:38 PM): great different floondi (11:19:48 PM): they have all these interesting traditions and stuff stimpjacquelyn (11:19:57 PM): like what? floondi (11:20:31 PM): like they have tons and tons of gifts and they all go around one at a time opening each one until they're all done floondi (11:20:39 PM): and they eat special german food stimpjacquelyn (11:21:12 PM): mmm. was it delicious? were there lots of people there? floondi (11:21:43 PM): well Alannahs cousins and grandparents were there floondi (11:21:48 PM): yeah it was delicious stimpjacquelyn (11:22:35 PM): thats nice. did you see any of your family? floondi (11:22:48 PM): mine? no floondi (11:23:34 PM): what are you doing the next couple of days? stimpjacquelyn (11:24:02 PM): mmm. idk. hopfully some shopping. and then hanging out with ashley e stimpjacquelyn (11:24:12 PM): im pretty sure im hanging out with stephen tomorrow stimpjacquelyn (11:24:26 PM): you? floondi (11:24:40 PM): oh do you still see stephen? I saw him for the first time in a while the other day stimpjacquelyn (11:24:57 PM): yeah. but i havnt seen him since august] stimpjacquelyn (11:25:04 PM): sooo not in a very very long time floondi (11:26:22 PM): a few months ok stimpjacquelyn (11:26:46 PM): yeah. im lonely. howa bout you? floondi (11:26:59 PM): how about me what? stimpjacquelyn (11:27:13 PM): how do you feel? floondi (11:27:23 PM): tired stimpjacquelyn (11:27:30 PM): then sleep boy floondi (11:27:32 PM): I feel sort of disconnected from people floondi (11:27:36 PM): no Im always tired stimpjacquelyn (11:28:18 PM): sometimes i feel disconnected. or like there can be people around me and i still fel like there is nobody there. stimpjacquelyn (11:28:25 PM): not stangers either stimpjacquelyn (11:28:32 PM): people i know will be around and im like stimpjacquelyn (11:28:36 PM): what the hell floondi (11:28:54 PM): whats the closest you've ever felt to someone before? stimpjacquelyn (11:29:40 PM): it was along time ago. she was probably my only real best friend her name was heather. and it was like we were sisters. stimpjacquelyn (11:29:45 PM): howa bout you? floondi (11:30:07 PM): lol you cant make up your own questions you have to use mine? floondi (11:30:11 PM): kk floondi (11:31:10 PM): well I can't really say anything surpasses my mother when I was a lot younger, I spent so much time around her exclusively stimpjacquelyn (11:31:25 PM): what about when you were older? stimpjacquelyn (11:31:45 PM): or i guess now floondi (11:32:53 PM): I feel like there are people I can communicate well with but my destiny isn't tied to anyones floondi (11:33:06 PM): I mean Im going away for 4 months how can it be floondi (11:33:22 PM): no one depends on me stimpjacquelyn (11:33:32 PM): that is an interesting way to think about it. stimpjacquelyn (11:33:44 PM): well do you depend on anybody? floondi (11:34:05 PM): not solely I've spread things out between different people I guess stimpjacquelyn (11:34:26 PM): hm. that is probably a good thing. stimpjacquelyn (11:34:55 PM): i dont think its healthy to solely depend on one being floondi (11:36:27 PM): well yeah floondi (11:36:35 PM): this just made me think floondi (11:36:50 PM): I recently learned that my cousin is getting married floondi (11:37:01 PM): its the first time in my lifetime something like that has happened floondi (11:37:20 PM): she's also the oldest, mid 20s, but still it seems like something stimpjacquelyn (11:37:34 PM): a marriage? floondi (11:37:55 PM): in the family yeah stimpjacquelyn (11:38:13 PM): is that important to how you view relationships? floondi (11:38:23 PM): is what? stimpjacquelyn (11:38:40 PM): seeing somebody in your family marry? floondi (11:39:25 PM): I guess... its just interesting to see people I know doing different things with their lives stimpjacquelyn (11:40:40 PM): its inevitable floondi (11:40:57 PM): uh huh floondi (11:41:16 PM): what do you think would make you feel not lonely? stimpjacquelyn (11:42:03 PM): i have no idea. maybe being recognized more. or just being with people that understand me better. floondi (11:43:31 PM): how do people not understand you? stimpjacquelyn (11:45:11 PM): maybe its my communication skills. because sometimes ill be talking to somebody. lets say ashley w. and even though were colse friends there i some moments where its just like okay what now. stimpjacquelyn (11:45:55 PM): i dont know. somtimes i will tell her stuff and it feels like we are not on the same page stimpjacquelyn (11:46:44 PM): and its not just with ashley. it happens with alot of people i know. or sometimes i feel like im not really being me. you know? like im just putting on different faces for different eople floondi (11:47:28 PM): yeah like you act differently depending on whos around floondi (11:47:52 PM): but then you can be in a group of all those people and only be able to put on one face stimpjacquelyn (11:48:45 PM): yea. and then one person is like why are you acting weird. and its like ohhh dang. floondi (11:49:20 PM): Oh yeah, it must be pretty pronounced then stimpjacquelyn (11:49:39 PM): i dont know if they actually notice. but i do. floondi (11:49:39 PM): what do you think makes you act differently around those people? stimpjacquelyn (11:50:16 PM): i dont know. they have different personalities. which makes me bring out different personalities floondi (11:51:20 PM): yeah floondi (11:51:26 PM): idk how to not do that floondi (11:51:43 PM): maybe time alone will make you return to the mindset of pure you stimpjacquelyn (11:52:02 PM): i would guess so. but then that leaves me feeling really lonely stimpjacquelyn (11:52:22 PM): i think it is just instinct to change in those sort of situations floondi (11:52:33 PM): yeah stimpjacquelyn (11:53:59 PM): i can not wait to get out of this town floondi (11:54:22 PM): to go where for what? stimpjacquelyn (11:54:43 PM): just for college. and to start fresh. stimpjacquelyn (11:54:55 PM): i feel like i have to much negative baggage here stimpjacquelyn (11:55:03 PM): which is 100 % true stimpjacquelyn (11:55:10 PM): and i just need to get away from alll of it floondi (11:55:30 PM): what negative baggage? stimpjacquelyn (11:55:58 PM): just from my past floondi (11:56:12 PM): like what? stimpjacquelyn (11:56:25 PM): like old boys and recent boys and old friends stimpjacquelyn (11:56:40 PM): its like everywhere i go i have somthing to remind of it stimpjacquelyn (11:56:45 PM): and im just sick of that stimpjacquelyn (11:56:51 PM): and sick of thinking about it floondi (11:57:05 PM): remind you of what, mistakes that you've made? stimpjacquelyn (11:57:31 PM): basically. stimpjacquelyn (11:57:45 PM): and i dont need a town to remind me of those momentus mistakes stimpjacquelyn (11:57:51 PM): i think i can handel it stimpjacquelyn (11:58:02 PM): but i think if i just get away you know? floondi (11:58:31 PM): won't you make more mistakes? stimpjacquelyn (11:58:45 PM): i guess. but hopfully not the same ones. floondi (11:58:57 PM): yeah stimpjacquelyn (11:59:02 PM): i mean after making them a couple times i can only hope i get it right] stimpjacquelyn (11:59:10 PM): not hope stimpjacquelyn (11:59:13 PM): but make sure you know floondi (11:59:19 PM): mhm stimpjacquelyn (12:00:00 AM): mhhhhmmmmmmmmmm thnats right boyfriend ( me talking in a black voice) floondi (12:00:33 AM): more like uh-huh with an extra long pause where that hyphen is stimpjacquelyn (12:00:54 AM): ahh nice stimpjacquelyn (12:01:01 AM): i like how you correct me on that stimpjacquelyn (12:01:08 AM): super black kyle floondi (12:01:29 AM): lol floondi (12:02:29 AM): do you like reading books? stimpjacquelyn (12:02:47 AM): i do enjoy reading. i used to read more though. stimpjacquelyn (12:03:00 AM): right now im reading sex drugs and cocoa puffs stimpjacquelyn (12:03:12 AM): are you reading anything good? floondi (12:04:07 AM): I just read this memoir thing, before that I read Venus in Furs, idk what I'll read next stimpjacquelyn (12:04:43 AM): you should reccomend some good books. often i find that my biggest problem is i dont know what to read. floondi (12:05:25 AM): oh tell me some of your favorites so far stimpjacquelyn (12:05:48 AM): i like chuck palahniuk stimpjacquelyn (12:05:54 AM): and kurt vonnegut stimpjacquelyn (12:05:59 AM): sp? stimpjacquelyn (12:06:08 AM): and i like on the road. stimpjacquelyn (12:06:20 AM): and i also like south american authors floondi (12:06:31 AM): like who? stimpjacquelyn (12:06:50 AM): well i recently read a book called baazar of the idiots and it was fantastic stimpjacquelyn (12:07:17 AM): by gustavo gardezabel stimpjacquelyn (12:07:44 AM): and then of course the popular ones like allende and marquez floondi (12:08:32 AM): ok floondi (12:08:49 AM): have you read much stuff more than say, 70 years old? stimpjacquelyn (12:09:09 AM): mmm. give some example. because i dont think i have floondi (12:09:50 AM): Anything! stimpjacquelyn (12:10:07 AM): \i read a few of the brothers grimm stimpjacquelyn (12:10:10 AM): haha stimpjacquelyn (12:10:29 AM): i watched some poe movies... which really doesnt count floondi (12:10:46 AM): The plays of Sophocles, Aristophanes, Euripides... over 2300 years old and still awesome stimpjacquelyn (12:10:52 AM): i started anna karenina floondi (12:10:59 AM): thats just the western tradition because thats what i know best stimpjacquelyn (12:11:00 AM): i have not read any of that stuff floondi (12:11:04 AM): Anna Karenina eh? floondi (12:11:13 AM): Alannah has a copy of that too stimpjacquelyn (12:11:18 AM): i have alot to go floondi (12:11:20 AM): its my favorite book, lol stimpjacquelyn (12:11:24 AM): is it? floondi (12:11:27 AM): mhm stimpjacquelyn (12:11:29 AM): then i shall have to finish it. stimpjacquelyn (12:11:32 AM): eventualy stimpjacquelyn (12:12:11 AM): im off to bed now. night! floondi (12:12:16 AM): mkay gnight stimpjacquelyn signed off at 12:12:33 AM. stimpjacquelyn is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in. |
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So today before the party I was eatin' some quail and panna cotta at the French Roast with WHY and she made this face while she was talking, basically it was just having your mouth open and slightly to the side at the same time, maybe also with slightly raised eyebrows, and right when she did this some light went off in my head like, I recognize that face from somewhere... So I think about it all night and finally it comes to me: Cracky-chan! No wonder my heart like instantly melted... is this epic win? Or does it just mean I've become too highly versed in encyclopedia dramatica articles? |
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Twas my last day of school besides finals. Why am I posting an entry now? Christmasy Nav Night was wonderful. I was put into the unfamiliar situation of having more than one of my friends in the same room at the same time. 3/4 as Olivia was apparently seeing Ann Coulter, which I thought had already happened. It'll be fun to see the write up of that in tomorrow's Washington Square News. Anyway... idk, I ate some pie with J.R.C and W.H.Y. at some deli place while we were waiting for free midnight breakfast. They'd never met before this day but talked a good deal. I felt decently pleasant. The stuff I was going to write now sounds kind of silly in my mind. Maybe it will show up in my final Aesthetics assignments. Tomorrow dentist appt for fillings I think, then hopefully the Met with Kate Carbocci, that'll be interesting mayhaps. |
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Writing, writing, writing. It seems so popular lately. I bought Jonathan Walton's book yesterday thinking it might inspire me. Today I talked to BVDM over sushi and snack desserts: we discussed determinism at the start, I mentioned KLP and ANG in my storytelling, and we were just about to get into her boyfriend's opinion of sex when 4 o'clock rolled round and it was time to go. There was a Vermont retreat a month ago which started a few forces moving within me, and if God demonstrates a love of symmetry some of those loose ends will be tied up on the other Vermont retreat that starts tomorrow. A little over a month ago I had no idea who OW was, or what freshly picked mint tasted like. I was taking a different medication. I didn't know I had things in common with IK. I did not comprehend the true meaning of Fierce, nor did I know the history of Vogueing. I had never walked Manhattan with other people before, or read a Langston Hughes poem in Harlem, eaten Tres Leches cake, or exchanged life stories with 2 more girls whose last names start with the letter 'W'. Back then I was probably capable of going more than an hour without thinking about a 4th person of that qualification who advised me "Hey, it's fine to love all human beings you know. But don't forget that you are a human being too! It's lovely to find out things about other people, but you should find things out about yourself." And I STILL have no idea if she had any idea I was talking about her, which makes everything all the more amusing. Excursions #2 and #3 happened without her, obviously not a good thing from my perspective at the time, but on them I learned about Stephanie's acquaintance with Jim Jarmusch and talked to a linguistics studying girl from a Hebrew school, whose name I unfortunately cannot remember. Also... if the retreat was a month ago the night of 2 church services and sitting on the sidewalk in SoHo was even longer ago than that... how quickly does time pass.
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This will not be the usual wall-of text. A few snapshots will tell the story better. I. I'm walking through Chelsea back from Bianca's church. With new medication causing an uproar in my nervous system, I think desperately about myself, what my place is, all that. I can't bring myself to talk to Bianca and her friends, so I stand slightly behind and to the right. When someone asks a question about the neighborhood I break my anxious silence enough to impart some tour-guide style tidbits about the city. We stop at a McDonalds so someone can pee, Everytime We Touch is playing inside, just loud enough to hear. II. An hour later. I'm sitting on the sidewalk of an intersection in SoHo with a couple bottles of sparkling flavored water, still thinking. "What am I for?" I ask God as well as myself. Then came Vermont... III. One five day week later. Sitting in a very nice cozy room with bunkbeds in the early night after a long car ride. Powerful forces pull me this way and that way, toward life, or toward nihilism and non-existence. I go to bed rather than join the others who've arrived through the day. IV. The following day. Sitting in the grass, getting sun on a cold clear day. Our assignment: Read the book of Jonah, reflect for 2 hours. All the extra trappings of life are removed easily with the geographic change. Starting from nothing, its easy to begin adding again. V. Hours later. Flying down one of the steep hills between the cabin and tennis court, rackets in hand. Our bodies are doing a lot to keep us upright, but its the blind pull of gravity that decides our course. VI. Night of the following day, Sunday. About seventy people in a room. I'm in a chair in the middle, front and center. A good fraction of them standing up, within a five foot radius. Praying. I was the last of at least a score of people to share something, after much internal debate. Ultimately it wasn't dialectic that brought me to that chair but something greater, and the words flowed as fluently as perhaps anything ever has from my mouth, without the clogged filter of my brain to break them up. VII. End of the long weekend, I'm in the back of a different car than the one I came in with different people. I realize that I've been given a great gift, a beautiful image or slice of life to enjoy for years to come, much like the best memories of my childhood: A well-kept hillside of grass, in the shade of a few trees. All around in a panorama, bumpy hills covered in forest, dappled autumnal hues like impressionist paintings marked off by jagged lines of evergreens. Tucked into a dent in the sloped ground stands the biggest pile of leaves I've probably ever seen. Two people with rakes working on either side, silent. Both strangers to the temperate deciduous forest of New England - I'm from the opposite corner of the country, she's from the opposite side of the planet. Somehow, we came to coincide on that plot of earth. With dozens of other students across the country, with over half a million other residents of the Green Mountain State, three hundred million Americans, six and one half billion other human beings. All related, all in proportion, all meant to be just so, by the perfect will of our Creator.
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I've been meeting one of my goals lately - hanging out with people and joining clubs. This is who I spent time with in the past few days: Friday: Watched Steinhardt recital with GNOMES guys, drank much free wine, started the book of Mark, and topped off the night with Rocky Balboa. Saturday: At night I went to a little art collective place in Brooklyn for a party with Kate Carbocci and her odd Israeli friend. Sunday: First Hiking Club hike!!!!(somewhere by Sleepy Hollow-the Rockefeller Preserve) Sat next to Gillian on the bus, behind some law student dudes. The weather was great. Yesterday: Had lunch with Robin at Mamoun's, unfortunately that didnt last very long. Went to Swing Dance Society with Robin in addition to Gillian, who is still stuck being a lead. Today: lunch with Bianca after class, went shopping, Bridge club with Gillian, saw Navs bible study leaders gathering in Kimmel. Tomorrow: Nav Nite, hopefully with the Gillian and Bianca. Friday: Alex said she'd have lunch with me, she has 2 jobs now so is rather busy. |
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Summer is almost over. Not the planet's season of course but the personal connotation of the word, meaning the time of my stay in Seattle as opposed to the school years before and after it. This summer was my first as an adult and college student, so I had a few more goals, that is things I thought would be beneficial to do, in my head at the beginning of it. Pretty vague ones though, essentially I wanted to meet new people here and read a lot of books. Well, first of I've only read like 3 books, and spent way more of my free time on the internetz and playing computer games and sleeping too much, plus I still often have the problem of insufficient energy and attention to do stuff like read. I'll get to that later... And as far as people go, I had this idea that I would somehow find social peers in this area and make new friends to spend my free time with, but it hasn't exactly turned out like that. What I have done - I found a church called Mars Hill with acceptable theology and very impressive music. My search for a Christian community got off to a slow and meandering start though, so all I've done with Mars Hill is attend a handful of services and one small group meeting, and earlier this evening I went to a park gathering thing where I knew no one well but touched base with a couple staff people and got the chance to talk to Adam Sinnett, the pastor of the branch I attend. So overall I'd say a lack of focus restricted the amount I was able to accomplish over this summer, a lack which in turn comes from my unsatisfactory mental state. Yes, everything I sense and think is still telling me that I have some sort of mental deficiency that's holding me back from just about everything. Which brings up another thing I neglected to do over this break, which is see any doctors shrinks or other such professionals, although I made some phone calls. Even my two medications ran out some time ago because I couldn't get prescriptions, but I have not felt any return to the episodes of depression I had in high school or any other major change. I was much better about being efficient in tackling all these problems over last school year than I have been over the summer, which just goes to show I work better with a schedule and discipline from without, so I should be better at getting stuff done once I start school again. Of course, I should probably work on self-discipline for my off time. One major unexpected positive thing this summer was my two mini vacations to southern California, the first on account of meeting JS and the second because of my crazy little adventure getting locked out, Balboa Park adventuring, and of course JS was still around there. Meeting her those first few days and talking nonstop about the intricacies of my family, going to that fancy club, etc., is probably the highest point of my whole summer. Something else a little bit disappointing is the lack of correspondence I ended up doing, or at least that the yearlong conversation with KJ was broken by, I suppose some form of failure on account of the postal system. Plus I haven't talked lately with Bunny S, I guess I should just call her. I did get a rather wonderful letter from AH though, and just yesterday I finally got my reply from that other New Haven person I know. Earlier in the summer I could hardly think of RW without my already cloudy brain getting cloudier, and yet I left the epistle on my coffee table a couple hours before actually picking up and reading it. Felt great afterward, with my head beginning to swarm with little replies. I suppose next year I'll try and do a self re-invention like a new year always provides an opportunity for, but I fancy I'll focus on her especially and see just how much I can change someone's view of me. View of other things too, since that's what the other half of the letter concerns. |
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12:33amJimmyhey kyle you on 12:35amKyleYes 12:35amJimmysweeeet 12:36amJimmyhow is it my christian brother 12:39amKylemm its pretty alright 12:40amJimmy thats good things here are good to the monsoons just hit so we are overcast 12:41amKyle oh I'm jealous 12:42amJimmy hahahahah lol why is it hotg where you are 12:47amKyle not really but it hasnt been raining much 12:48amJimmy oh wow thats gotta stink man especially since rain is so relaxing 12:49amKyle its not that dry are you even better at the guitar now than before? 12:51amKyle whoa your name has the same amount of letters in the same pattern as Miley Ray Cyrus and 6 out of the 13 letters are in the same place 12:51amJimmy i omg thats scarfy i am scared although she id pretty lol and guiat i am working everyday to increase my skill wow omg 12:53amKyle:dude when you grow up You're gonna be like, the Hannah Montana of electric guitar I'm really delirious now so I should go to bed bye |
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For the last few days I've been hanging out in Long Island with my late step-grandmother's nephew, Wayne Gambino. He's an easygoing recovering alcoholic and motorcycle enthusiast, about 50, who lives in an old suburban home with his aging father and two cats. We've eaten out every meal except for some instant oatmeal breakfasts I've had, which is fun I guess. He also has quite a few interesting friends, one of whom came with him to my dorm way back in August to help w/ the moving in. Today we went out east to a little town called Greenport and I walked by myself to the almost deserted northern shore- this is where I was: http://maps.google.com/?ie=UTF8&ll=41.118939,-72.372726&spn=0.001164,0.002929&t=h&z=19 By the way, my computer randomly phailed me so it looks like my best hope is to see if the Geek Squad can retrieve what was on the hard drive. There is a pretty good portion of the last 6 years of my life on that thing and I don't have any recent backups, so its about as big a deal as something could be to me. So tomorrow, I'm going to Fort Tryon Park to meet Ryan Patch, then I'm going to work for a party, then I'm going to Best Buy to try getting my computer fixed. On Tuesday I'll be going to Rachel's in Hartford, and Wednesday I fly back to Seattle. I'm actually looking forward to that now. |
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thats how I feel currently. stayed up last night working on my last essay except for a short nap between 4:30 and 6:30...had last day of working at PS 33...it was bittersweet...I'm apparently not supposed to give the children my phone number though, people have weird issues...went out of the school into a crazy rainstorm... texted Robin... walked a half hour through that to kimmel to print essay...got called for umpteenth time by some random telemarketer in florida... delivered essay awkwardly to Bruce Bromley, walked home, got pizza, saw Kendra moving out, missed an elevator and ended up running into Robin while waiting which I was not really prepared for, you could say...I've eaten the pizza my heart is still beating really really fast and I don't want to go to sleep yet. |
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Whew I've been sleeping 4 hours a night lately and I feel pretty great, but odd. In good news~ -Just came from a final in Chinese/Japanese lit, it went just fine -Have been socializing with people besides roommates and Navigators, i.e. Robin and Kate Carbocci -My Writing the Essay essay probably won't be that hard -I found an amazing game called Battle For Wesnoth -I'm going to see Rachel and the Wadsworth Atheneum before I leave -Even in Seattle I'll get to see Alannah, ntm Hayley and Jocelyn. -Navs was amazing, but is over -Cool stuff like MORP, Strawberry fest, party at Kate Carbocci's place, spring nature-seeing with Robin or even by myself And bad? not much... -Not staying with Robin or Alex in New Haven as I hoped -Only 2 more days of work left, I have to leave my kids... -Random inescapable regret or lament for all the people I didn't get to know well Oh, and New York city has like real live extreme socialists who are currently May Day rallying in Union Square.
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So even though I don't have to decide for a while(end of July), I've been starting to think about whether to take a leave of absence from school for 1 or 2 semesters. To my slight surprise, my parents haven't discouraged me from doing such a thing even slightly, not even a nudge. On the contrary but also surprisingly, my cousin whom I just spoke with believes that such a decision would be rather bad for me in the long run. Sometimes I kind of wish I would have known what I was getting into in the first place and just not come here, but although it would have saved me money, I would certainly have missed a lot of interesting learning experiences. Does anyone have anything to say about this? |
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Its 4 in the morning. I don't want to go back to sleep because I feel it will be a waste of time. At 9 I'm going to Philadelphia for the weekend. I have to complete an essay and a take-home exam in the next few days but I'm not so sure that will end up happening at this point. There's only a month until school is over, 39 days until I leave the northeast. I wish I were laying in the back seat of a car going somewhere on an interstate highway. |
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I slept through my 1st class, and just learned that my 3rd class is canceled because Bruce has asthma. Hence the rest of my day is empty, which means I'll be trying to work on my essay rough draft all day but probably won't get very far. On the 4th floor of our giant library at the moment, at a big desk with a book on the Hudson River School. Tomorrow I have an advising appointment, a psychiatric appointment, and a nutritionist appointment. Flying from Hartford to Seattle on May 21st, which I'll be doing, only costs $130. |
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About 40 days until school ends. How do I feel about that? Well school has been rather bothersome lately, so I suppose I'll be free of all that class stuff. But at the same time, I'll probably have many regrets about things I failed to get done in my freshman year. I might not even coming back here, which would make the lost opportunity thing worse. I'm either going to take a semester off, or a year, or not come back at all, or come back. I don't even know what I'll be doing this summer but it will probably involve spending time in Seattle that isn't greatly different from all the time I've spent in Seattle previously. Today I spent all day working on a little exercise thing for Writing the Essay class, which was actually due last Wednesday. Tonight I'll probably go to Kate Carbocci's birthday soiree, which means I'll also be finding a present for her in the next three and a half hours. The new medication isn't doing all that much... I lack self-confidence and a lot of other things
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This is SUPERB, Kyle: your build your ideas wonderfully, you voice all the while sounding pensive, musing, *alive*. And remember: you are free to treat your work with your art object AS an image of experience, I resend your file, with my proposed alterations included. I hope they help you. You're GROWING: can you SEE it? I hope so! |
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Currently I am in the third row of my lecture hall attending World Cultures class Coxinga is a rebel for the Ming Dynasty, Tu Hai against them The word Japan was not mentioned in Kenko His brother-in-law: Nostradamus Нострадамус Mobilization???????????????????? Dominant feature of the 20th century Nationalism! Sinophobia! Этот Университет = очень дорогой Минг-китайский Ямато-Japan b4 China Nihon/Nippon Parthenogenesis Sad, nostalgic, sunday-morningesque, very lonely uber-relaxed, happy, almost inebriated Я хочу что-то. Что это? Dang, people on wikipedia have lots of time on their hands. This is a debate on whether to call corn corn or maize http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:M |
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Tuesday after school I had Spiritual Interest Group, where I talked to Ryan and Mike D about masturbation for most of the time while eating French Onion soup. Wednesday there was Nav Night but I got there late because of my second appointment with Olympio Wen, my new counselor. Craig Detweiler who made this movie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cC3D0LY7 came and spoke. Thursday we watched that movie, and afterward I talked to Megan Himel, Erica, and Jocelyn for quite a while at Think coffee house. Friday was GNOMES, our mens Bible study, way up in Harlem. I was very tired by the end. Also, I went to St. Vincent's hospital for a psych evaluation in the morning. Today was pretty awesome, I took the subway way over to Brighton Beach, Brooklyn to volunteer at a center for Russian Jewish immigrants, and I handed out literature(in Russian) to people on the street. One black person even took one. And I accompanied this awesome Russian family to the pretty boardwalk there, and drank kvass. After getting back to Manhattan I met up with my roommate's ex-girlfriend to play Katamari Damacy. And eat some Coldstone. всё пока |
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http://floondi.livejournal.com/23392.ht I just re-read it and I think I'm going to use it for a writing assignment |
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This thread is like double epic win squared-http://img.4chan.org/b/res/5296 esp. this pic- |
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I'm in a crowded dining hall filled with people and lots of disorienting, oppressive photons. Over the past 24 hours I had a temporary breakdown of confidence, the kind of thing that happens easily with my uncertain, questioning mind. Not having any solid foundation to place myself on I throw my weight to the wind, here or there, allowing more established forces to carry me off. I feel like there isn't much to look forward to in the near future, but that I'm going to force myself through this knee-high field of mud regardless. I've spent the past couple nights sleeping in the Lounge, which feels somewhat uncomfortable but more secure also. There are just so many options for me right now, I tell myself. I've thought about staying in Seattle longer than just this summer, working toward whatever I can find without any timetables or sense of burden. Unfortunately the rest of the world cannot just be put on hold, I can't go into a hyperbolic time chamber and work on myself without allowing all the people and institutions I know to progress without me. Then again, aren't they going to be without me regardless? |
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Take 30 songs from your playlist and post the first lyric of them(Unless it includes the title, then skip it of course) 1. There are people going hungry, far away 2. Look at the stars 3. Look what's happening out in the streets 4. Is it true what I heard about the son of God? 5. I will never bother you 6. There is no political solution 7. What I got you got to give it to your mamma 8. Four A.M., two hours to go 9. This is a song about Susan 10. If you think that a kiss is all in the lips, 11. Big wheels keep on turning 12. There's a little black spot on the sun today 13. All I can say is that my life is pretty plain 14. The heat is so great 15. She told him she'd rather fix her makeup 16. You don't care for me, I don't a-care about that 17. How can you see into my eyes 18. She came out west to find the sun 19. I only watched her walk but she saw it 20. I am a man 21. Go 'way from my window, 22. Tonight you stoop to my level 23. I heard the truth about you 24. Five miles outside of Vegas when we broke down 25. Oh when I woke up tonight I said I 26. I tried to kill the pain 27. Some folks are born (Bunz would get this one) 28. Mississippi in the middle of a dry spell 29. Mom and Dad went to a show 30. Life used to be life-like |
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6:35-Having just got out of the shower and changed into pajamas, ready to relax and get ready for tomorrow and sleep, I see a myspace bulletin mentioning that Peachcake are having a show here in the city. Amazed, I decide to drop everything else and go there, even if it means risking not getting a ticket. 6:45-After finding out where The Knitting Factory is, changed my clothes, and borrowed $5 for half the ticket price from James, I begin to head over. I cut through the Village, skirt around SoHo (where Heath Ledger was found for those of you into current events), cross Canal Street into TriBeCa and try finding Leonard St., where the venue is supposed to be. 7:03-I arrive there, walking, even before the doors open. Somehow I start talking to these 5 kids from Brooklyn in front of me in the short line, and we hang out throughout the concert. They mention how all the people they know at NYU are yuppies, I agree wholeheartedly. Band 1-The Murder and the Harlot-crazy loud metal stuff, but you could actually here some nice riffs behind all the noise. Later in the show I met the lead singer's girlfriend in the crowd, she was...friendly. Band 2-PEACHCAKE!! So basically I embarrassed myself in front of everyone by being the biggest Peachcake fan in New York. I'd talked to their new guitarist earlier at the merch table, and quickly caught up with Stefan while he was setting up. I was front and center to the stage most of the time, people held up signs, some confetti exploded, much awesomeness. They had a lot of new songs too. The climax was probably when they played "If I Were Superman You'd Be My Lois Lane" while having the front of the crowd kneel in a circle and play Duck Duck Goose. There was also a Love Train, with me right behind Stefan. Unfortunately, the latter was sick with what he called "George W Bush pox" but played awesomely anyway. Band 3-Karate High School-They sounded kinda like a TBS emo-pop kinda deal, which was alright, but they had some cool audience participation too, mostly talking about wanting to do gay sex acts with audience members. The lead singer told John, one of the Brooklyn kids, that he was special. Band 4-Foxy Shazam-Cool rock stuff with soul influences. Epic win when the singer a capella'd the Bel Air theme song in a sexy/soulful voice, inserting the word 'baby' a lot. After the show me+Brooklyn kids looked for soup in Chinatown, unsuccessfully as stuff was surprisingly all closed. Twas still fun though. I got home around 11:30. |
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Jasmine: Yeah. What are you guys seeing? Kyle: Die Walkure or, The Valkyrie Jasmine: Ah... Valkyrie is a mythological creature, right? -at the risk of sounding dumb- Lul. Kyle: I guess so Kyle:have you heard of it? The song from it 'Ride of the Valkyries' is pretty famous Jasmine: Eh, heard of it somehow or another, lul. Kyle:dude listen to this Kyle:http://www.archive.org/details/EDI Kyle:cilck on the 3.1 M I think Jasmine:I just clicked play. And I know this song, lul. Jasmine: Not sure how it'd be an opera though. Kyle:supposedly its not a good version of it Kyle:why because it doesn't have words? Jasmine:Yeah. And don't operas have... stories. xD Jasmine:I saw Tartuffe, it was sung in English, but it had a story, and a set, and blahblah. Kyle:this song would probably be during a part where stuff is happening but no dialogue I guess Kyle:probably some Valkyries will be doing some riding Kyle:But I'm pretty sure it will be awesome Jasmine:Hahaha, probably some Valkyries will be doing some riding. Lul. |
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-Teddy went through puberty -IHOP doesn't care if you share all you can eat pancakes -Shopping carts are heavier than they look -Beloved is a trap -After 4 drinks, I begin to criticize peoples' electricity consumption -Don't fuck with Lakehurst; they'll stab you to death -Some of the lyrics to 'Take On Me' as JJ sings them more clearly than A-Ha -Corrupting innocent young boys=Crime Against Humanity, worthy of UN trial
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Chocolate Rain Some stay dry and others feel the pain Chocolate Rain A baby born will die before the sin Chocolate Rain The school books say it can't be here again Chocolate Rain The prisons make you wonder where it went Chocolate Rain Build a tent and say the world is dry Chocolate Rain Zoom the camera out and see the lie Chocolate Rain Forecast to be falling yesterday Chocolate Rain Only in the past is what they say Chocolate Rain Raised your neighborhood insurance rates Chocolate Rain Makes us happy 'livin in a gate Chocolate Rain Made me cross the street the other day Chocolate Rain Made you turn your head the other way (Chorus) Chocolate Rain History quickly crashing through your veins Chocolate Rain Using you to fall back down again [Repeat] Chocolate Rain Seldom mentioned on the radio Chocolate Rain Its the fear your leaders call control Chocolate Rain Worse than swearing worse than calling names Chocolate Rain Say it publicly and you're insane Chocolate Rain No one wants to hear about it now Chocolate Rain Wish real hard it goes away somehow Chocolate Rain Makes the best of friends begin to fight Chocolate Rain But did they know each other in the light? Chocolate Rain Every February washed away Chocolate Rain Stays behind as colors celebrate Chocolate Rain The same crime has a higher price to pay chocolate Rain The judge and jury swear it's not the face (Chorus) Chocolate Rain Dirty secrets of economy Chocolate Rain Turns that body into GDP Chocolate Rain The bell curve blames the baby's DNA Chocolate Rain But test scores are how much the parents make Chocolate Rain 'Flippin cars in France the other night Chocolate Rain Cleans the sewers out beneath Mumbai Chocolate Rain 'Cross the world and back its all the same Chocolate Rain Angels cry and shake their heads in shame Chocolate Rain Lifts the ark of paradise in sin Chocolate Rain Which part do you think you're 'livin in? Chocolate Rain More than 'marchin more than passing law Chocolate Rain Remake how we got to where we are. |
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Coincidentally, she's in town right now playing a show tonight, but the tickets were sold out long ago. There's an acquaintance from my school who is going however, or at least her facebook said so. A while ago I was talking to this person about finding tickets to it but since we've not really talked, coldness developed, just one of those things I guess. The thought of it made me feel something sort of sad and nostalgic, but it was an emotion nevertheless and as such made me feel more alive. I'd much prefer deep longing to the apathy and lack of consciousness that's been creeping into my mental state. I'll have to talk to my counselor about that one, see if he thinks I've let myself become calloused in response to the world. Is dwelling on feeling and drinking it in thirstily the cure for callousness? Last time we talked about my distaste for authority and my desire to surprise other people. Possible answers came so quickly it was as if my subconscious was conspiring to use this man to reveal truth to me I could not find on my own. Or perhaps it was God. His careful planning of events may have also caused the message at church today to remind me that self-actualization is not the purpose of spirituality but only a good side effect. I always think about random hypothetical situations that aren't very likely, like what if the person I was talking about earlier read this entry. Not my counselor, the other one. Actually that's not so unlikely so I won't say the person's name as that would certainly make it seem a bit more creepy or strange. What's that word I've heard a lot around here? "Sketchy." I found it a bit 'sketchy' or something similar maybe thats not the right word when my cousin George asked me about something on my myspace profile when I'd only just started talking to him. Being caught off guard would probably be a better way to say it. I had lunch with him and his wife today after church, twas lots of fun. For the rest of the evening? Reading "On Liberty"(very inspirational)... and listening to more Ani. |
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To go to some really cold place in the mountains of Pennsylvania with a bunch of people I don't know very well and insufficient warm clothing, when I have more homework to do over the weekend than I have had in many weeks. Yay! |
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The polypoids were burning in the wood A stone caught fire The castle caught fire The forest caught fire The men caught fire The women caught fire The birds caught fire The fish caught fire The water caught fire The sky caught fire The ashes caught fire The smoke caught fire The fire caught fire Everything caught fire Caught fire, caught fire. |
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Student Schedule
